Baby Makes Four: A Cranial Band for EZ Unleashes the Tears in Mom

We got one of the most wonderful gifts recently: My almost 7-month-old baby FINALLY rolled over! Yippy! I know that 7 months is kinda on the late side but whatever, he did it and if I didn’t write it down I wouldn’t ever remember when this joyous occasion occurred. His sister Ava was late on that stuff too.

EZ getting cuddle time with mom, despite his helmet. Photo provided.The reason why this is an even bigger deal is because EZ rolled over for the first time ever... wearing his helmet. I swore that thing would hold him back but well, well, looky here. I was wrong. For the first time in my life, I was wrong. Imagine that. I think I scared the bajesus out of him when I squealed louder than a hyena. HE ROLLED OVER!!!! EEEEEEEEE HAPPY DAY!

This whole cranial band (aka supa fly helmet) has been a roller coaster for us. When EZ was four months old he was diagnosed with positional plagiocephaly. Basically, this means his head was flat on one side due to us not moving him enough to keep his head from being flat. That makes us sound like horrible parents, doesn’t it? What the heck is wrong with us for never wanting to pick up our baby... jeez. Mommy FAIL.

This couldn’t be further from the truth. EZ was born early and babies who are born early didn’t get a chance to have all their little bones and bits to grow like a full - baby. So this means EZ’s head was super duper soft, easily moldable. Regardless of the position, me wearing and carrying him, his head still became flat. He preferred to lay with his head to one side (don’t kill me for saying this) but EZ sleeps 12 hours a night and that’s a long time to be laying in one position.

EZ's head before the helmet.We hoped that his head would correct itself but it wasn’t getting better which meant we had to discuss the cranial band. When we first started this process, I had so many things running through my mind. Realistically, I knew it was necessary. If you don’t fix the flat spot then the whole cranium becomes misaligned and there’s problems with nasal cavities, ears, eyes, jaw, etc. The band is shaped to be how the doctors want his head shaped, a perfect ball and basically his head grows into that shape. The head remolds itself. This was important for him and his future life.

Emotionally, I was a mess. At first I thought, OK no biggie and then the nurse said he would be wearing it for 23 hours a day. I cried. I cried a lot. A LOT. I felt like the helmet would change him somehow. Like it would interfere with my bonding with him. People would stare and whisper. Will he be teased? He was 5 months old, surely not? It’s hard to cuddle with a giant headpiece in the way. He would be in it for months ... those precious months of baby years that I’ll never get back. During the hour of freedom, he fiercely itches his little head and I nearly snuggle the life out of him.

I had many tears in the first couple of weeks. We did what we had to do and we knew this was best for him. He doesn’t even notice it most of the time. BUT I couldn’t deny my feelings, as silly as they may be. So I let myself cry in the rawest form a mom can cry and without guilt. Once I got that all out (it took me a few good cries to get there), I kept telling myself this is nothing. He’s healthy, he’s totally fine ... this is peanuts compared to the difficulties some parents deal with. I quit moping about it, dusted myself off and was ready to concur the world.

Getting fitted. Photo provided.The doctor told me that it bothers the parents more than the kid. He's right. It does. I hate it. I don’t ever let EZ or Ava see the tiny little cracks in my feelings about the “helmet.” EZ is still sweat and as cute as pie, it doesn’t change him at all. He’s still the same lovable little boy but I still hate it. I hate when our hour of freedom (have to take it off for an hour to clean the helmet and do baths and whatnot) is up and I have to put it back on him. He doesn’t mind it, and I have to pretend that I don’t mind it either.

However, I do often forget about the helmet. I take him out in public like he’s not wearing anything unusual because I forget about it. It’s part of him now. I was super self conscious when I first took him out in public, knowing that people would stare. It’s human curiosity to stare at something that you know nothing about. The first time I took him out I actually ran into a mom who told me her son had just graduated from his helmet! Wow. I did not see that coming, and I couldn’t have been more thankful for that mom coming up to me like that. I needed that so badly.

I’ve also had people tell me they think the whole helmet thing is a fad and isn’t medically necessary. Since I’m not writing on my own blog today I’ll keep my nasty thoughts to myself but you can only imagine what I wanted to say. For the most part though people don’t say anything, and sometimes I catch people staring but I think it’s more to see the baby and not so much about the helmet.

Yep, his mom is definitely more bothered by the helmet than EZ is. Photo provided.Ava (now 3 1/2 years old) doesn’t think twice about it. When EZ first came home with the helmet, she told me that he was an astronaut and that he could now fly to the moon. She, of course, wanted one as well. Sometimes, I think it’s good protection from her crazy ways.

EZ’s been wearing it for about seven weeks now, and I’m sure we probably have about another six to go. Seems like yesterday he got the helmet but it also seems like he’s been wearing it forever. I hate it, but he does look so darling in it, helps that I pimped the sucka out! Who wants an all white helmet? I adorned it with skull and crossbones. The back says “I do my own stunts” and the front says EZ, of course.

His head is a bazillion times better and rounder, not perfect but so, SO much better. I couldn’t be happier with the progress. I can’t wait til we are done with this stinky thing. No really, it smells funky. Imagine wearing something on your head all day and night... funk-ay. I imagine it smells like the inside of a cast or kinda like toe jam. Aaaand I’ll leave you with that awesome imagination of a smell. I’ll keep you posted on his progress!

*We went with the Hanger Band because that’s what insurance paid for but we did check out Cranial Technologies first (who makes the DOC band). CT wasn’t in network for us so we had to look into the other cranial band makers.

Our guest contributor Stacia writes a column called "Baby Makes Four" about the changes that come along with adding a new child to the mix, even if he is nicknamed "EZ." You can get to know her better by following her own blog Dried On Milk.